#15 Not Let Fear Get in the Way

Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. This was during the Great Depression, arguably the darkest time in United States history, so clearly people had countless things to be afraid of. But unlike FDR, I can't say that fear is my only fear. Honestly, I don't think it's realistic. How many people do you know that really are fearless? People may say they are, but they're not. Fear comes in many shapes and sizes from a fear of spiders to a fear of disappointing someone you love. I say without shame that I have an irrational fear of pelicans for no other reason than that they're large and simply freak me out. Fear is nothing to be ashamed of or try to hide. It's a part of life. With fear, the trouble lies when it begins to prevent us from doing what we want or getting what we want out of life. Our fears should not stop us from doing anything. Sure, they may be an obstacle along the way, but they should never be walls. Fears should be speed bumps, not stop signs. In the past, my fear of pelicans has not stopped me from doing anything, but my fear of failure and fear of tarnishing my image has. When I asked people what they feared that prevents them from getting what they want, the overwhelming responses were failure and rejection. But while the answers were mostly the same, the reasoning behind the fear was different with each person. Here are some of these answers to the question: What is something you fear that prevents you from doing the things you want?

"That I will fail. That I will embarrass myself. That I will cause people to think less of me. That I will ruin my reputation."

"Failure plain and simple. I get scared I won't be able to do something and it makes me unable to do it."

"Fear of failure basically. Or maybe a fear of change... things that are different usually mess up my routine so I am out of my comfort zone even if it's something I really want."

"It's not fear of failure, but fear of failure when people know you failed. I'm afraid of failing and everyone knowing about it."

"Rejection or failure. Or that I'll regret doing the things I want to do."

"There isn't something specifically that I can say that I fear that prevents me from something. However, in the past I've forgotten to have faith and confidence in myself and that is what's kept me from doing things I want to do. I learned, though, believing in yourself is something you need to do because even if a million people believe in you, or even just one, it doesn't matter because your faith in yourself is the only faith that will allow you to do something. I fear not believing in my strengths and abilities to do anything I want to do."

"Rejection. I'm always scared people will think I'm weird or dumb if I do certain things - like sports or talk to people I usually don't."

"Fear of not getting the same feelings in return from someone (in any friendship/relationship). I also have a huge fear of needles but yeah, unhelpful."

"Rejection. I'll leave it at that. It's more dramatic."

"Other people's judgments. I've found it's easier for people to say bad things about people than good things, and people will not hesitate to judge your every move."

"Disappointment in general. I don't like disappointing anyone, especially if I care about the people."

"Well I can't stand failing at anything whether it be at school or sports. But as I grow older I've learned that in order to succeed I need to keep moving forward and can't let any setbacks keep me from achieving my goals."

"I fear rejection overall. Anything I've ever really wanted I look back and see that I didn't try my hardest to get it and I have no doubt that it's because I feared rejection."

"Letting others down. Because if I let myself down, I can fix it with myself later, but when you let someone else down, sometimes you can't bring that back up."

"Rejection. I still really care about someone in my life but I won't ever tell him because I'm afraid he'll reject me and our newly found friendship is too important to me. I'd rather have him in my life as a friend than not have him in my life at all."

"The fear of failure. Or the fear of how people will look at me."

As you can see, it is our fears that have the most profound effect on what we do in our lives. As much as it does, it should not. Of course that's easier said than done, but what isn't in this life? My favorite words written about fear come from Marianne Williamson's book A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles. You've probably heard them many times before because they've been everywhere - Akeelah and the Bee, Coach Carter, Nelson Mandela's 1994 Inauguration Speech, and the list goes on and on. But even though you've heard them before, read them again. Quite honestly, it gets me every time.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

To close, I say forget "Fear not." Go with "Fear; but let it not get in the way."