#28 Given Technology a Break

Hello. My name is Morgan, and I am addicted to my cell phone. And my computer. And my Kindle. And Twitter. And Facebook. And to playing GodFinger on my phone. And to checking Twitter on my phone. And to taking pictures of my dog on my phone. Basically I'm a technology addict. And while, yes, I have technology to thank for a lot of the things in my life, (namely this very blog) I do wish I hadn't become so dependent on it. I know there are great advantages to being connected - I can google my questions and curiosities and have an instantaneous answer; I can find out what my friends are doing with the push of a button; I can connect to my readers in a way that would not have been possible years ago - but I also know that it comes with a price. I have a much shorter attention span than I would have if I didn't have this need to check every text that showed up on my phone the second it showed up. I'd forgotten how much I loved the touch and smell of a printed book until I bought one last week (and proceeded to become a hermit, finishing it in two days. Check out Where We Belong by Emily Giffin - great read). I have, many a time, wasted the day away watching Netflix. I could probably list things like this all day, but you get the picture. My point is, technology is ever-present in our lives, both to our aid and to our detriment.

What I propose on the matter is a break. A break from television, from your cell phone, from Facebook and Twitter. From all of it. Maybe just for a day, maybe even less. Just give yourself a break. There have been nights when I've put my phone on silent and left it in my room so that I don't pay any attention to it, and let me tell you, those are the best nights. Those are the nights when I reconnect with my mom and my sister and we just hang out. Those are the nights when my friends just show up unannounced and I'm surprised and happy to see them. Those are the nights.

Just recently I had to send thank you notes for graduation and it reminded me of how awesome hand-written sentiments are. There is nothing better than getting a written thank you or letter from someone else. I know I've talked about this before (see post #16), but it really is one of the best things in the world. Better than a Facebook post or a thank you text message.

Take a break from all your devices. I promise, it'll be okay. Everything will be there when you get back. Write a letter, read a book, hang out with your family. I can't guarantee that your friends will show up randomly, but here's hoping!

#27 Realized

To be honest, I have no excuse for my ridiculously long hiatus. Simply, I haven't been inspired by much of anything lately. I've never been particularly good at coming up with something at will. Everything I write is raw. It just kind of comes to me in the spur of the moment, and I run with it. There is no premeditation. If there was, I would probably go out and do the thing I would write about instead of deeming it a "thing I should've done." But recently, I realized that that's kind of how life works. You can plan all you want to, but things probably won't turn out how you want. Life is a series of real, raw moments that make you who you are, and you can't just come up with who you are in the blink of an eye.

I think part of my lack of inspiration has to do with the fact that my mind is completely taken over by thoughts of college. For the past year of my life, my impending departure to college has been an ever-present topic, and it's something that I have insane mixed emotions about. One minute I can't wait to live in a city where I can do whatever I want, and the next I'm freaking out about the change ahead and want nothing more than to freeze time and pretend like it's never going to happen. I won't lie, most of my feelings about going away are negative ones. I've never been a big fan of change, and I know this one is going to be one of the biggest changes I'll ever go through. I like routine, and I know leaving and creating a new routine will rock me to my core. More than anything, I'm scared. Absolutely scared out of my mind. I'm scared that I won't do well. I'm scared of being away from my home. I'm scared of being away from my friends, my family, and even my dog. I'm scared that I won't like it. I'm scared of letting go of the things I know. I'm just scared of college, and all I want to do is lay in my bed at home forever. But I'm not at all ashamed of my fear. I know a lot of people going through the post-high school/pre-college phase are beyond excited to go away - I'm just not one of them. I've accepted the fact that college will probably scare me until even after I start class in August. I know there's no use in pretending that I'm not a huge scaredy-cat. I've realized that it's a part of who I am, and there's no denying that.

I realize that this hasn't exactly been the most uplifting post, but I think I needed to do it for me. I guess I just needed to admit to myself that I am scared of what's ahead, and that it's okay to be that way. I suppose this moment of self-discovery was one of those raw moments that I was talking about earlier. This post was not at all pre-meditated or planned - it is the mere product of a moment of panic. I was finally inspired again. It may have taken awhile, but it happened. And I guess that's life.