#17 Celebrated Nonconformity

Conformity (n.) - action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices, etc. In simple terms, conformity is to go with the flow or to follow the crowd. I think conformity is a combination of personality and societal demands. Our society as a whole rewards conformity. It wants us to all be the same because we fear the unknown and things we do not understand. Look at society's reaction to homosexuality. It's not the norm so it must be evil, right? While I don't personally agree with this assertion, a lot of people do because that's what society tells them. High school is the perfect example of the issues that come with conformity. You're shunned if you don't follow the latest fashion trend (even if you go to Catholic school and have to wear a uniform), you're weird if you don't like going to football games on Friday night, or people think you're crazy if you don't care to go to the Homecoming Dance. People are accepted when they conform - and thus are rewarded - and ridiculed when they don't conform - and thus are punished. If this is how the world works, what do you think people are going to do? It's a sad reality, but the majority of us spend our time in high school trying to fit in. All people want is acceptance. Who wants to feel unwanted? It's easy to conform when we haven't yet developed an identity. It's easier to be told who you are than to have the courage to make your own choices about yourself. While there are times when conformity is not necessarily a bad thing - like when you're picking what color nail polish to wear or what basketball shoes to buy - it is when we become "okay" with things that we really aren't that conformity starts to harm us. So what if you buy the same kind of dress that everyone else has? It won't change your life in the slightest. It's okay. What's not okay is being okay with things you really aren't. We don't say anything to our friend who is making bad decisions because we don't want to lose them or we don't want them to be mad at us. We don't say anything when the people closest to us start to change before our very eyes. Conformity comes in many forms. The word conformity itself says so. It comes in many degrees. Some conformity is okay. Follow the leader if you so choose. But we should never sacrifice what we believe in order to fit in. I know every single one of us has heard this a million times, but it's true. We overlook some of the biggest issues life could possibly hand us in the name of conformity. I know I've acted like I was totally cool with things that I wasn't. Recently, though, I've started avoiding these situations. I know it's a cop-out, but I would rather avoid a situation than act like I was okay with it. At this point in our lives, all we're looking for is approval. It's our way of trying to find ourselves. What we don't realize is that we're forming a broken version of the person we really are - which is probably part of the reason being a teenager seems so hard. We're lost. And it isn't until we stop needing to be handed answers or stop thinking that the answers we're given are illogical or lacking substance that we start looking for our own way through life. It is then that we don't see a need to conform. Nonconformists may look like most people on the outside, but on the inside they have the courage to speak their mind, the ability to learn from their mistakes, and the desire to take the road less traveled, and that's something that should be celebrated.

This post is dedicated to Laurette who had the courage to ask me to write it. I hope it lived up to your expectations! (I'm a little scared it didn't!) Your comment restored my faith in myself and in my blog. I hope you're keeping up with making your new friend. It means the world that you were willing to take my advice. One of the things I wish I'd known earlier is that you can get all the good advice in the world, but it's useless unless you act on it. Thanks for the suggestion!