#19 Watched the Sunrise

People who wake up late miss one of the greatest feats of nature. It happens each and every day and is one of the most magical things on earth. The sunrise. There is something beautiful about the day slowly getting brighter - from the midnight blue to a lighter blue - and going dark once again. It's a comfort to know that whatever happens, the sun will always rise. There is always tomorrow. Who would've known the sunrise could have such great life lessons behind it? Getting up in the morning to watch the sunrise sounds great in theory, but it's a lot more difficult in practice. Personally, I've never done it. As a teenager, it's a struggle to get up at 7:00 AM and make it to school by 8:00 AM, let alone get up earlier than that to watch the sunrise. Although, with the time change, the sun rises between seven and eight here in my time zone, so that could make it a little easier. During the school week, it's virtually impossible to sit down and watch it. At 7:30 AM, I'm rushing out of my house to make it to school on time, not making a cup of tea to pair with my morning paper out on the patio. My suggestion would be to try it on the weekend. I know, I know, it's the weekend. Why would you want to voluntarily get up at 7:30 AM on the weekend when you could be in bed sleeping like a baby? To experience the magic of the sunrise. To see the beautiful colors. To ponder the thought of a new day, a clean slate. Getting up early does have its benefits. While I would call myself an early riser, I've never sat down and watched the sunrise, and I'm not sure why. Of course, sometimes I miss it, but other times I simply don't go outside and watch it. I should. There's a great significance to the whole thing. They don't call it the dawn of a new day for nothing. Watching a sunset is like saying hello to a new day. And it's the perfect time to be thankful for your many blessings. The Dalai Lama once said, "Everyday, think as you wake up, 'Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.'" Nothing like the Dalai Lama to make waking up sound like the most spiritual experience in the world. What better way to greet the day than to watch the sunrise and experience its beauty? So when your parents ask you what you're doing awake at 7:30 AM, just tell them the Dalai Lama said it would be good for your soul.

P.S. Just out of curiosity, how many of you actually do the things I'm writing about? If you have done some of it, tell me about it! If not, I'll keep writing anyway! 

#18 Realized

When I started the whole college process, saying I was stressed was the understatement of the century. I'd always seen past seniors and wondered why they were literally going crazy over it. All applying to college is is filling out some electronic forms, writing an essay, and pressing submit, right? Wrong. It's endless stress. It's filling out electronic forms, writing tons of essays trying to figure out which one is going to make you look the best to an admissions board, filling out scholarship and financial aid information so that your parents don't freak out about money, taking standardized tests, finding people to write you a letter of recommendation, and about a million other things. And then pressing submit - which was probably the hardest part for me. Oh and did I mention that you have to do all this and maintain your life outside of college applications? Yeah. And then, even when you submit your applications, the stress continues. You're playing The Waiting Game - arguably the most daunting game ever. And then when you get your acceptances or rejections, the stress continues. Where do you go? What do you do next? Seeing a trend here? Yeah, stress. This whole college application process is all about doing something bigger with your life. About figuring out what you're going to do with the rest of your life. Trying to decide your path at 17 or 18 is one of the toughest things in the world. What I should've realized earlier is that you don't need to know exactly what you're going to do when you're applying for college. I should've realized that it's really rare to know what you want to do with your life when you're 17. The most I think about is what I have due for homework the next day or what my mom is making for dinner. Some people have their entire lives mapped out, career included, but that certainly is not the norm. Knowing exactly what you want to do is not normal. And not "not normal" in a bad way, but "not normal" in the sense that it's extremely rare. I've realized that it's okay not to know. I'm okay with not knowing what job I'm going to have when I'm an adult. I know what I like and I know what I'll study in college, but I don't know how I'll parlay that into a career. I think part of what makes the pre-college process so stressful is that we're expected to decide our paths. People expect that we'll know exactly what to do, but the reality is that we don't. The idea of trying to decide the rest of my life right now is the scariest thing in the world. Applying to college is not the last step in deciding your future. It is merely the beginning of your discovery of yourself. Lewis Carroll once said, "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there," so remember that when you're freaking out about not knowing exactly what you're going to do in college.

This post is dedicated to my lovely friend, Elizabeth, who is one of those rare people who knows what she wants to do and where she wants to do it. I aspire to be like you in more ways than one. Happy birthday love.

#17 Celebrated Nonconformity

Conformity (n.) - action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices, etc. In simple terms, conformity is to go with the flow or to follow the crowd. I think conformity is a combination of personality and societal demands. Our society as a whole rewards conformity. It wants us to all be the same because we fear the unknown and things we do not understand. Look at society's reaction to homosexuality. It's not the norm so it must be evil, right? While I don't personally agree with this assertion, a lot of people do because that's what society tells them. High school is the perfect example of the issues that come with conformity. You're shunned if you don't follow the latest fashion trend (even if you go to Catholic school and have to wear a uniform), you're weird if you don't like going to football games on Friday night, or people think you're crazy if you don't care to go to the Homecoming Dance. People are accepted when they conform - and thus are rewarded - and ridiculed when they don't conform - and thus are punished. If this is how the world works, what do you think people are going to do? It's a sad reality, but the majority of us spend our time in high school trying to fit in. All people want is acceptance. Who wants to feel unwanted? It's easy to conform when we haven't yet developed an identity. It's easier to be told who you are than to have the courage to make your own choices about yourself. While there are times when conformity is not necessarily a bad thing - like when you're picking what color nail polish to wear or what basketball shoes to buy - it is when we become "okay" with things that we really aren't that conformity starts to harm us. So what if you buy the same kind of dress that everyone else has? It won't change your life in the slightest. It's okay. What's not okay is being okay with things you really aren't. We don't say anything to our friend who is making bad decisions because we don't want to lose them or we don't want them to be mad at us. We don't say anything when the people closest to us start to change before our very eyes. Conformity comes in many forms. The word conformity itself says so. It comes in many degrees. Some conformity is okay. Follow the leader if you so choose. But we should never sacrifice what we believe in order to fit in. I know every single one of us has heard this a million times, but it's true. We overlook some of the biggest issues life could possibly hand us in the name of conformity. I know I've acted like I was totally cool with things that I wasn't. Recently, though, I've started avoiding these situations. I know it's a cop-out, but I would rather avoid a situation than act like I was okay with it. At this point in our lives, all we're looking for is approval. It's our way of trying to find ourselves. What we don't realize is that we're forming a broken version of the person we really are - which is probably part of the reason being a teenager seems so hard. We're lost. And it isn't until we stop needing to be handed answers or stop thinking that the answers we're given are illogical or lacking substance that we start looking for our own way through life. It is then that we don't see a need to conform. Nonconformists may look like most people on the outside, but on the inside they have the courage to speak their mind, the ability to learn from their mistakes, and the desire to take the road less traveled, and that's something that should be celebrated.

This post is dedicated to Laurette who had the courage to ask me to write it. I hope it lived up to your expectations! (I'm a little scared it didn't!) Your comment restored my faith in myself and in my blog. I hope you're keeping up with making your new friend. It means the world that you were willing to take my advice. One of the things I wish I'd known earlier is that you can get all the good advice in the world, but it's useless unless you act on it. Thanks for the suggestion!

#16 Told Them What They Mean to Me

You know, they always say that we should never take things for granted in this life. We're only given so much time on this earth, and we should cherish everything and every person that we are blessed enough to have in our lives. Of course this is true. I would be lying if I said I didn't believe it. We have to take every opportunity to tell the people in our lives how much we love them and how much we appreciate them. Even the people we don't like are there for a reason. Think of the people you don't like as foil characters in the story of your life (shout-out to all my English teachers) who are there to make you the best possible version of yourself. Every person you are ever around has shaped you in some way. I mean, is there really such a thing as being original? Is who you say you are really you? They say you are the combination of the five people you're around the most. So are you really you or are you the people around you? Even though all of us would like to think we're a completely new person, I don't think we are. If I can't be totally unique, I'd like to think that I've taken the best of people. I'm happy having my mother's eyes and my father's sense of humor. My best friend's passion, my favorite teacher's heart, my sister's energy. If we really are the product of our environment, let's at least try to make it a good one. Tell the people who have shaped you how much they mean to you. Don't take them for granted. My suggestion to you on how to do this is to write a letter. For my 18th birthday, the people closest to me wrote me letters that did just that. It was the best gift I could've ever received. Sometimes it's a saving grace to know that you are loved and that someone thinks you're important. Give that gift to someone. And it doesn't have to be in the form of a letter. Write them a Facebook wall post (or whatever they're calling it right now. It seems to change a lot...), mention them on Twitter, hire one of those plane writers, or maybe even just tell them face to face. Whatever works. Let someone know they're important to you. It really is the best gift you can give someone. In order to put this suggestion into practice, I'm going to write a letter below that tells someone how much they mean to me.

Dear Amanda Rae, 


I don't know if I've ever told you this, but you really do mean a lot to me as a friend. We see each other everyday and we talk all the time, but I don't think I've ever expressed to you (adequately, at least) how much I value the friendship we have. It means the world to me that you really are there for me no matter what. I know I can always come to you with anything - whether it be news that probably shouldn't be considered news since I think everything is a bigger deal than it is, or if I'm just complaining about something, or if I just want a friend to talk to. You're always there to listen to my "news" and share in the excitement or disappointment. You're always there to listen to me complain about the silliest things. You're always there when I need you. You've been one of my biggest supporters in more ways than one, and I really can't thank you enough for that. I've always admired your spirit. You are one of the kindest hearts I know and I've always wished I was more like that. You've taught me that there is something to be said for mild-mannered people. I know plenty of people with big personalities, and I admire you for being different. Not to mention the fact that you're beautiful. Inside and out. And while we may be on different paths for our futures, I know our paths will cross plenty of times. You're one of the best friends I have, and I'm sorry that I've never told you that before. I hope this makes up for it. Stay beautiful lovely.


Love always, 


Morgan


Don't take people for granted - tell them what they mean to you. Simple as that.

#15 Not Let Fear Get in the Way

Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. This was during the Great Depression, arguably the darkest time in United States history, so clearly people had countless things to be afraid of. But unlike FDR, I can't say that fear is my only fear. Honestly, I don't think it's realistic. How many people do you know that really are fearless? People may say they are, but they're not. Fear comes in many shapes and sizes from a fear of spiders to a fear of disappointing someone you love. I say without shame that I have an irrational fear of pelicans for no other reason than that they're large and simply freak me out. Fear is nothing to be ashamed of or try to hide. It's a part of life. With fear, the trouble lies when it begins to prevent us from doing what we want or getting what we want out of life. Our fears should not stop us from doing anything. Sure, they may be an obstacle along the way, but they should never be walls. Fears should be speed bumps, not stop signs. In the past, my fear of pelicans has not stopped me from doing anything, but my fear of failure and fear of tarnishing my image has. When I asked people what they feared that prevents them from getting what they want, the overwhelming responses were failure and rejection. But while the answers were mostly the same, the reasoning behind the fear was different with each person. Here are some of these answers to the question: What is something you fear that prevents you from doing the things you want?

"That I will fail. That I will embarrass myself. That I will cause people to think less of me. That I will ruin my reputation."

"Failure plain and simple. I get scared I won't be able to do something and it makes me unable to do it."

"Fear of failure basically. Or maybe a fear of change... things that are different usually mess up my routine so I am out of my comfort zone even if it's something I really want."

"It's not fear of failure, but fear of failure when people know you failed. I'm afraid of failing and everyone knowing about it."

"Rejection or failure. Or that I'll regret doing the things I want to do."

"There isn't something specifically that I can say that I fear that prevents me from something. However, in the past I've forgotten to have faith and confidence in myself and that is what's kept me from doing things I want to do. I learned, though, believing in yourself is something you need to do because even if a million people believe in you, or even just one, it doesn't matter because your faith in yourself is the only faith that will allow you to do something. I fear not believing in my strengths and abilities to do anything I want to do."

"Rejection. I'm always scared people will think I'm weird or dumb if I do certain things - like sports or talk to people I usually don't."

"Fear of not getting the same feelings in return from someone (in any friendship/relationship). I also have a huge fear of needles but yeah, unhelpful."

"Rejection. I'll leave it at that. It's more dramatic."

"Other people's judgments. I've found it's easier for people to say bad things about people than good things, and people will not hesitate to judge your every move."

"Disappointment in general. I don't like disappointing anyone, especially if I care about the people."

"Well I can't stand failing at anything whether it be at school or sports. But as I grow older I've learned that in order to succeed I need to keep moving forward and can't let any setbacks keep me from achieving my goals."

"I fear rejection overall. Anything I've ever really wanted I look back and see that I didn't try my hardest to get it and I have no doubt that it's because I feared rejection."

"Letting others down. Because if I let myself down, I can fix it with myself later, but when you let someone else down, sometimes you can't bring that back up."

"Rejection. I still really care about someone in my life but I won't ever tell him because I'm afraid he'll reject me and our newly found friendship is too important to me. I'd rather have him in my life as a friend than not have him in my life at all."

"The fear of failure. Or the fear of how people will look at me."

As you can see, it is our fears that have the most profound effect on what we do in our lives. As much as it does, it should not. Of course that's easier said than done, but what isn't in this life? My favorite words written about fear come from Marianne Williamson's book A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles. You've probably heard them many times before because they've been everywhere - Akeelah and the Bee, Coach Carter, Nelson Mandela's 1994 Inauguration Speech, and the list goes on and on. But even though you've heard them before, read them again. Quite honestly, it gets me every time.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

To close, I say forget "Fear not." Go with "Fear; but let it not get in the way."

#14 Gotten Closer to My Classmates

At my school, retreats are a yearly staple. It marks a time once a year when we are able to come together as a class and just spend the day(s) together doing different things that change with the years. Seventh grade was about getting to know one another, eighth grade about learning about the issues that we all face, ninth grade about starting to figure out who we are, tenth grade about coming together to work for the community, and eleventh grade about getting to know one another once again. While the retreats changed every year (at the great hands of those in the Call to Ministry classes), one thing was always the same. We came together. And senior year was no exception. The entire theme of the retreat was community - learning to come together as a united senior class before the end of our high school journey. I've always enjoyed retreats, but this one struck me more than the others. We laughed together, cried together, played together, took chances together, sat under the stars together, apologized together, ate together, did everything together. To me it was one of the most beautiful things in the world. I can say with the utmost certainty that the three days spent at retreat last weekend were one of the best times I've had with my class. I can say with the utmost certainty that I've never felt closer to them. I can say with the utmost certainty that I wish I'd gotten closer to them all sooner. Being with them all made me realize how much I love them. I honestly don't know who I would be without them, and that's something that I wish they'd known sooner. When I say that I should've gotten closer to my classmates, I mean that I should've gotten closer to them earlier. They really are some of the most wonderful people I know, and I should've taken the time to know more of them. I think sometimes we are too quick to judge and we dismiss other people and in the end it hurts us. I know I was wrong about a lot of the people I see every day. Senior retreat taught me that it's never too late to get rid of those misjudgments and get to know the real person behind them. It's never too late to make a new friend - even if you are going to graduate in a few short months. Senior retreat was such an amazing experience for me because I was able to be with my classmates who I've come to love and appreciate so much over the years. Further than that, they helped me check off things from my high school bucket list. We apologized, we played around on jungle gyms and ran around looking for glow sticks like kids, we took chances and jumped off of ledges (harnessed, of course), and most importantly, we were together, and that was far more than I could've asked for.

#13 Wished You a Happy Valentine's Day

Diverting from the usual "things I should've done" post, I just want to take a minute to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day! Know that whether or not you have a valentine, someone out there loves you. So what if it's not the person you wish was your boyfriend or girlfriend? So what if it's just your mom or your Golden Retriever? There's nothing wrong with that. Love comes in many forms, and Valentine's Day is not exclusive to couples, I promise. My mom has been a consistent valentine for me, (except for last year, but you're forgiven mom) and I find absolutely no shame in that. The first happy Valentine's Day wish I gave went to my dog, Tex. So to all of the girls who think you're forever alone, you're not. There is always someone out there that loves you, no matter who you are. Instead of Valentine's Day being a "Hallmark Holiday" that has become all about buying chocolate and flowers, why don't we make it about simply being with the people we love and who love us? That sounds like a holiday to me. But even then, isn't every day a day to celebrate love? My mom and Tex love me even when it's not Valentine's Day. My family loves me when it's not Valentine's Day. My friends love me when it's not Valentine's Day. (Well at least I hope they do.) Every day is a day to show the people in your life that you love them, not just Valentine's Day. One of the things that makes human beings so special is that they have the ability to love, so why not take advantage of that in whatever way possible? It's okay not to have a boyfriend or girlfriend on February 14th because there are other ways to love that don't come in the form of a significant other. (That's not to say it isn't okay to be a part of a couple, of course.) Today, on Valentine's Day, love your parents; love your siblings; love your friends; love your dog; love everyone. You are lucky to be able to love period. Think about that today. Think about that everyday.

Happy Valentine's Day!